Do people around you support what you’re doing in your business?
In this video, I tell you the story of a designer who had “issues” with her husband. He feels she needs to “get things going” faster and she’s worried he’ll pull the plug on her business if she doesn’t start creating more income.
The problem is that there’s no clear definition of success between her and her spouse. What exactly does “get things going” mean?
- Is it a sales goal?
- A number of wholesale accounts?
- Press exposure?
How will you ever know if you’re doing well if you don’t define exactly what that means? You don’t want to have the constant feeling of “not enough-ness”. And yes, that’s the technical term. We all want support from the people around us.
Starting a new clothing or accessories line can cause a strain on any relationship. Check out the video to get some tips to handle this startup stress.
What do you think? Has there been a time when you didn’t feel supported in your business? How did you handle it? Let me know in the comments below!
Thanks for watching and reading,
Jane
P.S. If you’re looking for support , you should run, not walk, to check out my Momentum Group. It exists to help you connect with other like-minded entrepreneurs, stay accountable, and have a place to turn for questions. Designer feedback has been 100$ positive on this program! Check it out here: https://fashionbrainacademy.com/momentum/
23 Responses
True wife not supportive things not happening fast enough moms says told me I should have done this when I was 25 so I agree with the video etc…
Rodolfo, thanks for your comment. It’s tough to be the entrepreneur, and tough for the spouse to watch. I get it. I hope you don;t beat yourself up about not doing it when you were 25. Here’s a quote that you may like…
“Everyone says that you should live like there is no tomorrow, but I think it’s even more important to live like there is no yesterday. Your future means so much more than your past.”
― John A. Ashley
yea only I’m 51 and started in 2012. Pedaling as fast as I can!
Go Margarette! I’m rooting for you!
Hi Jane,
Thank you for this video! I do not have a spouse, but you have inspired me to create some new goals to bring my business where i want it to be! Thank you for your inspiring words!
Dee Dee McGuire
Hi Dee Dee! Great to hear from you. There’s something magical about actually writing down your goals so go for it. Wishing you loads of success.
Thank you Jane! This was a Godsend! I just launched my first Ready-To-Wear shoe line, and because it is such a unique shoe it has been taking time to get a huge boom! (Double Agent Shoes). I know people are always afraid of the “new” and since ages a shoe has been just a shoe and a purse has been just a purse. I am determined to change it all and give the fashion world a refreshing twist. But this has been an eternal and intense process.
I think people from the outside think it is all so easy; you invent it, you make it and then you sell it and you become an overnight millionaire. The have no idea of sweat, tears, and sacrifices that it takes to achieve such a dream. And if you allow them they can easily bring you down. I now made a promise to myself to surround myself with like minded people. This is the only way to keep going forward while preserving your sanity. 😉
Hi Carol! I agree that people don’t understand the sacrifices, sweat, and tears. And how could they? It’s something you really have to experience for yourself. Congratulations on your new business! So excited for you.
Jane,
Such wonderful tips & great support info. Thank-you for the important reminders of the path of success & rewards.
I have been listing to motivational speakers of late & all echo some of your key points …be specific to exactly what you want & why you want it.
Then write it down. Work a written plan everyday to archive our desires. Yes, goals are a marathons of calm, steady growth, not a sprint.
It is great to think of something & be creative; it is better ‘to do’ something.
Until we believe it & “write it down” with realistic timelines for our goals & have a written plan of action to achieve those goals attached to our dreams, wishes & desired thoughts, then that energy is just vapor and will never become our reality.
Anything without a written plan, plans to fail.
Writing a plan down with a timeline (what am I doing & when will I do it) is always much better & is more effective than just thinking that I will do this, or I’ll will do that.
People’s nature is to be are extremely forgetful of out thoughts, (vapor).
Writing our goals is a real tangible record of what it is that we intend to accomplish.
Writing it down (our goals) makes it real & rewarding. 😉
Best of fortune to all who dream & do!
Thanks for your comment Kim! It’s SO TRUE what you say, “People’s nature is to be are extremely forgetful of out thoughts, (vapor).” I agree 100%.
Hi Jane,
You have been a constant source of support in my business for years now (maybe unbeknownst to you 🙂 and I cannot thank you enough for addressing this issue!! It is a source of contention in my world and it really helped me to see all sides. I feel I do a pretty good job balancing my 3 daughters, husband, and my business but the guilt always creeps in at some point – whether it be on the family side or the business side. I feel I don’t get acknowledgement from my husband when something that I feel is good happens and he feels success is only measured monetarily – which I totally get! We are two people with different opinions and that’s normal. We’ve been married for 10 years and now, with your help, we will see 11 lol!! But seriously, it is a hard thing and I’m taking nothing away from men running a business but it just seems there is so much more pressure for women to be perfect with no room for error. You always know just what to say to help! Thanks again!!!
Julia, you just made my day! Thanks so much for your comments – they mean a lot to me. Men and women both have business struggles and they really are different. Being the Mom adds a whole new layer, it really does. And I totally agree that it’s hard for some people to measure success by anything other than money! Sheesh, it’s frustrating. What helps for me is to NOT go to my husband with wins or losses at all. I go to peers and my coach, and I just don’t really discuss work veryoften with my spouse (or politics, just sayin’…))I find this article helpful for the Mom guilt – especially #2: http://bit.ly/feelguiltFBA
Just read it and THANK YOU!!! You’re so awesome!!
Hi Jane,
Thank you for touching on this topic, this is a personal and very real topic that hits home. Working two jobs sometimes turns out to be 19 hour days. I sacrifice so much for my dream to have a profitable women’s ready to wear line. I sent this link to my husband and we watched this together. We have written down goals personally and professionally. My husband still feels a lot of financial stress on his shoulders and feels like it will never end even with these goals… maybe he’s just been dealing with this for a long time…not sure what else to tell him, I don’t know when things will be more stable but I am working soon hard to make it happen…
Nina, thanks SO MUCH for commenting. I just love it that you watched the video together with your husband! Good for you guys. It sounds pretty normal that e’s feeling the stress too so be sure to re-visit your goals and track progress in about 3 months. Go Nina!
Jane
This was an excellent video. There is no way to understand how much work it takes to launch a line. I had set unrealistic goals…did not meet them….then had to regroup and redefine. The mental strength you need to do this is unbelievable. I think you described the relationship issue very well on both sides. I also go to God for answers when things get tough and I do not know where to turn and he always responds….I will get an answer through an email…books….or you!….it is amazing. You are doing a great job. Thanks so much.
Thanks for your comment, Ruth. I’m so glad the video helped and I think you nailed it when you said, “The mental strength you need to do this is unbelievable”. You are s right and it’s hard to know that until you actually do it. I am rooting fr you and your business!
Hi Jane,
Great post. This lead to my divorce. My husband was fine with me being a stay at home mom but when I decided to follow my dream and start my line of handbags (with my own money), things went south. I have a degree in accessory design from FIT! So this wasn’t left field..I had the time and the money so I felt it was the right time but he badgereing me about it everyday and made me choose btwn him and my dreams. Hence my divorce status.
Hi Nicole, Thanks for your comment. That was a tough decision you had to make and I sincerely hope things are going well for you. I’m rooting for you!
Hey Jane! I appreciate the comprehensive approach you take to start up designers- it’s not always about facts, figures, & sales data. It’s also about finding the inspiration and drive to keep going! Like you said, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Thanks for the great video!
Thank you so much for the inspiration. I agree with everything everybody has said so far. Thank you Thank you Thank you
I’m a little late on this post, but I am new to the Fashion Brain community and just getting started. I really appreciate your advice. I’m 24 now and I’m trying to start my own womenswear business. Unfortunately, the lack of support I’m experiencing is coming from myself. I get discouraged often because I feel like I’m walking into the design game too late! I have a FT job doing Product Development for a design firm and I feel like I just don’t have enough time in the day–ever! Designing for someone else is not what I see myself doing forever.
It’s upsetting and and I feel pressured. I need a FT job to finance my business. Thanks so much.
Thanks for posting Maya. Big shout-out to you for “owning” it – “the lack of support I’m experiencing is coming from myself”. It takes a lot of self awareness to even know that! 2 things: 1) you’re not too late, not at all. 2) If you want to start a side business while working full-time, keep it simple. Like a small line of knit dresses, an accessory item, a product that doesn’t need to be fitted. I’m rooting for you, Maya!